bad news and then great news

This afternoon I was determined to tackle our yard again. With so much rain, the grass already needs to be cut again. Not to mention that strip of grass under the spider web that I didn't touch on the last round. Before I could mow, I needed to clear the grass of coconuts and palm fronds. I also decided to sweep the carport and hose it down which led me to hosing down the front of the house. Why did I need to hose down the front of the house you ask? Snail poop. These damn snails are CLEARLY well fed. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be married, living in Guam, picking up coconuts from my yard, and cleaning up snail poop, I would have told you that you were nuts! Actually, I probably would have said, "What?! Snails don't poop!" 

ANYWAY, after all of that excitement I decided to tackle a tree on the side of our yard that has fallen forward and started to grow straight out into the yard. YAY!  It needed to be cut back quite a bit so that I can mow under it. I started hacking at it with the hedge trimmers and I encountered THREE banana spiders. I took branches that I had already cut and swatted them and their webs down. (I still feel like they're crawling on me.) However, I would not be deterred! I continued on and apparently got a little too violent in a tangle of branches because I got stung by something. In the face. So, yea, then I was done. 

A shower and a couple glasses of wine later (my face is fine by the way), I decided to tackle something else on my to-do-list. I'm still trying to get my dog to Guam. Once I had all of her paperwork done and received clearance from Guam's Department of Agriculture, all that I had to do was make her flight reservation. It was at that time that I found out that she can't fly out of my hometown's airport - she would have to be driven five hours one way to an airport that can put her on an international flight. So frustrating. I've been toying with how I could get her to said airport. 

So, as I was perusing this pet transport website tonight, I noticed that my hometown airport is listed as a drop off location for pets traveling in cargo. How is this possible? So I called. My hometown airport is a drop off point for pets but only for pets flying within the U.S. And then the light bulb went off. My husband is going to be at a major airport hub in the States in a couple weeks for training. I can fly my dog to him and then he can put her on an international flight to Guam!!! Now, I ask you, why in the heck didn't this pet transport company not think to suggest this to me before? (This was my third call to them.) I really hope this works. 

a classic case of Halloween costume procrastination

I am the worst Halloween costume procrastinator ever.

I think my most creative costume to date was junior year of college. Although, I'm pretty sure the costumes were not my idea. I was Marilyn Monroe and my bff was Marilyn Manson. Besides my defunct, tightly curled, unruly fro wig that made me look more like Dolly Parton and the fact that I forgot to draw on Marilyn's signature beauty mark, we had a pretty creative twosome.

Unfortunately, it seems at some point in my life my creativity has been stunted. I was always creative as a child and a teenager - taking art classes, making friendship bracelets, sewing sequins on EVERYTHING (I was the original bedazzler), making my own clothes- but I think my need to be a perfectionist killed my creativity.

I went to Kmart earlier tonight because their costumes are 75% off. As I'm searching through three rows of costumes and hoards of people, I finally settle on the zombie banana costume. "It will be funny," I think to myself. About that time someone comes on the loud speaker. "Attention Kmart shoppers, we are sorry for the inconvenience but all of our registers are experiencing technical difficulties." Augggghhhhh. You win, Kmart. You win.

So here it is the night before our friend's Halloween party and here I am Googling "costumes to make out of a cardboard box." (We still have a lot of boxes left over from the move). Luckily, as a backup, my husband loves Halloween and I have a few of his costumes that I can wear if all else fails.

typhoon francisco

Pretty huh?

Time to make t-shirts: I survived Typhoon Francisco.

Looks like the worst is passed us although I can still hear the wind whipping around outside. Winds were supposed to get up to 40 mph with the possibility of gusts up to 60 mph. Luckily the storm has been extremely mild and has been a great trial run in case a stronger storm hits in the future.

We've also been very lucky in that we haven't lost power. Although, besides the entertainment factor to cure the cabin fever, having power hasn't exactly been necessary because the news stations don't seem to make a big deal about a typhoon approaching the island. I don't even think the local news stations here even have weathermen on staff. Maybe I'm a little jaded being from the Ohio Valley because the meteorologists there would be on tv for hours predicting the path of the storm. I know island life is laid back but come on.

Maybe it's harder to predict the path of a typhoon because every time the local news interviewed someone from NOAA, they were not sure where the storm was headed. Thank goodness for Facebook otherwise I would have had no idea what was going on with the storm. Obviously, I would have figured it out on my own just by looking outside but it would have been nice to know that I should be shutting my storm shutters prior to 2am.

Yes, I've now also learned how to operate storm shutters. Although I'm not too savvy operating them in the dark, in the rain.

how to train your roaches

Now the roaches are taking it upon themselves to die in the dust pan. Super easy clean up!

And p.s. roaches here are usually double that size. And they fly. It's pretty much my nightmare come to life.

cutting the grass

This may come as a surprise to some of you (not likely) but I've never mowed grass before... until today.

First, let's talk about me actually getting the lawn mower out of our shed. Apparently, teeny tiny frogs live in our shed. So tiny in fact, you can't even see them until you start to move something around and then all hell breaks loose. I survived the frog attack and managed to get the mower out. I went back in very delicately for the gas can. After about five minutes of trying to pour gas into the mower, I realized the gas can is idiot proof and by that I mean I could not figure out how to work the spout on the gas can. FINALLY I managed to fill the tank and was ready to go.

I found out the hard way that it's pretty difficult to start a mower while the mower is sitting in tall grass. I moved the mower out of the grass and, thanks to Google, also realized that I had to pump the button to get gas into the fuel line. Eureka! I got the bastard started! What a great feeling of accomplishment.

As I started mowing, there were herds of geckos in front of the mower running for cover. They were fast but I was still as careful as I could be in six inch tall grass not to run them over. As I was about to finish the first section of the yard, with my head down looking for geckos, I looked up only to realize that I'm about half a foot from walking into a banana spider. The spider was hanging out in its web at about eye level. Heyyyy spider. Needless to say, the grass below the web did not get cut.

Our yard is huge. Not only is it huge, it's lined with about 100 yards of cinder block. You know, to make it fancy. So not only is the cinder block ugly as heck, it's impossible to mow up to it, around it, above it, next to it. J does a much better job managing it but since it was my first time, my maneuvering wasn't very good. We also have quite a few snails that live in the cinder blocks.

Unlike the geckos, the snails have a hard time avoiding the mower. About halfway through my mowing, out in the middle of the grass, I stepped on something and felt a crunch. Yep, snail. Bleeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I found another one in the grass and threw it to safety. I had to press on because I still had about half of the yard to mow but I was freaked out about mowing over and/or stepping on snails. I had to keep repeating to myself "circle of life, circle of life."

I am a mess but the yard is mowed... except for that one patch under the spider web. It can wait.

things I miss

I miss feeling a chill in the air. I miss people whose job it is to patch potholes. I miss the smell of Great American Ballpark... I miss sports venues in general. I miss being able to watch a football game at 1:00 pm as opposed to 3:00 am. I miss people that know how to drive - people that don't turn right from the far left lane. I miss Target, Starbucks and Chipotle. I miss knowing where to go to buy a cheap handbag. I miss previews at the movies. I miss being able to skip pedicures and being able to wear boots. I miss getting dressed up to go out - it's not even normal to get dressed up for a job interview here. I miss businesses that have up to date websites. I miss being able to drink water from the tap without it having to be filtered 18 different ways. I miss people that know my heart.

UPDATE 10/15/13: Guess what happened today?! They patched the potholes on our street! What's next? A Starbucks?! I'm looking at you, Guam!